Mutant Rubbish

I love the X-Men movies. I even give the third one by Bret Ratner a pass. The best part of those movies is Hugh Jackman as Wolverine. So, naturally, it'd only make sense to make a Wolverine solo movie.

Say what you want about the early version released on the web for everyone to pirate. Say what you want about the really cheesy, even cartoony special effects throughout the movie (especially those claws in the bathroom scene. Weeow!). Even with all that, I still had hope for the movie. Because, come on, it's Hugh Jackman as Wolverine!

The best thing I can say is: It's not Elektra.

Ok, so, it's still quite a bit better than Elektra. It's watchable. Just, don't take it seriously or even expect it to make sense. It doesn't make sense. None of it. This movie had so much potential and every bit of it is wasted.

Especially Ryan Reynolds. Casting him as Deadpool, the "Merc with a Mouth" was genius. Too bad he only has about 2 lines in the whole movie! That part really irritated me. Especially since I recently just watched Blade Trinity and, whatever your feelings are about that movie, at least Reynolds was utilized well in that film. This film took perfect casting and took at Todd-sized dump all over it. Ridiculous.

The whole time I was watching this film, I kept thinking this was just the prologue to a much bigger and better story. Even when it reached the climax, I still hoped the movie could fulfill some of its potential. I guess, it is technically a prologue to the X-Men films, but you're better off keeping the two completely separate at all times.

So, how shall I conclude this rant? I'll say that this movie is obviously not good and a true letdown. But, again, it's not Elektra. So, go ahead and give Wolverine: X-Men Origins a rent if you're truly curious about how far off the mark it is. Just don't be fooled into thinking you'll be watching an X-Men caliber film.

3/10 Toddsperience

Daybreakers

See? All those Twilight movies need is a little Willem Dafoe and they'd be awesome looking vampire movies like Daybreakers here.

German Tom Cruise Speaks Perfect American English

Bryan Singer makes good movies. Sure, Superman Returns was not awesome at all, but it sure looked beautiful. Anyway, Singer is back to form with Valkyrie. Now, I heard concerning things all throughout the production of this movie, so I was rather skeptical when I saw it. But I must say that, dang, Valkyrie is a good movie!

Sure, it has it's problems. Tom Cruise makes no attempt to speak with a German accent. And most of the other actors are British. So, while they do have an accent, it's the wrong kind. However, the cast is great and the acting is solid. It's got such talent as Bill Nighy, Tom Wilkinson, and Terence Stamp (General Freakin' Zod!!)

The story is truly riveting and compelling. Which is rather amazing, since everybody going in knows what the ending is. Hitler lives and all the conspirators are executed. Spoiler! But somehow...somehow, Singer manages to scoot our rears toward the edges of our seats as we grip that irrational hope that the plot will actually succeed.

It's rather refreshing to see a World War II movie where the Germans aren't strictly evil. The message of this movie is that there were, in fact, many, many good and decent Germans who despised Hitler and wanted him out. This is merely one of the most famous accounts of good people risking it all to stop evil. The fact that they ultimately fail makes it all the more touching.

Oh, so way the title of Valkyrie? Operation Valkyrie was the order that the conspirators set into motion after the attempted assassination to overthrow standing institutions and take control of the government. From the movie, it looks like they came awfully close to succeeding.

8.4/10 Toddsperience

4 Horsemen of the Mediocre

I had never heard of the movie Horsemen before I watched it. After viewing it, I still wish I had never heard of it. Dennis Quaid plays a widowed detective that sucks at being a single father. He gets caught up in a super freaky case about a group of killers who perpetrate their crimes after the pattern of the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse from the book of Revelation. Sort of. It kind of works.

Does this sound like Se7en? Yeah, it kinda does. Initially, it manages to maintain a similar creepy factor, even. But the second half goes downhill pretty steadily with plot twists that only work if you don't think about them too much.

Along with the increasing weak story is some weak acting and incredible leaps of logic. According to the movie you can take a random chip from a computer, match it to the computer-at-large, find that computer's ISP, and use that to get a physical address for the location of the computer. Um...no. On the off chance you could match the serial number on the generic chip to the serial number of, say, a motherboard or something that was produced and sold, that still gives you no lead on the ISP address. You'd be better off going to the billing address for whoever bought the computer. But that still raises many practical problems. I know this is probably a pretty small detail to complain this much about, but come on, at least put in some effort to make this marginally believable!

Ok. I'm done ranting. If you're bored and up for a bad thriller type movie, go on ahead and watch this. But you're much better off just watching Se7en again.

4.5/10 Toddsperience

Movie Weekend Overview

Greetings to all you SLM fans out there. Alanna dropped by this weekend and we went through a bunch of movies, all but one I'd never seen before. Instead of writing full reviews for each, I'm going to take the lazy way out and just lay down some quick comments about all of them here.

• Last Chance Harvey - This was a great movie. I think I liked it better than Alanna did. Which is odd, since usually she's the one big on romantic comedies. But this isn't your typical romantic comedy. It's not about rambunctious teens looking for their first love and wild times. It's about an old man, down on his luck, abandoned by his family and career, stumbling into one last chance at happiness. Maybe I can just relate to the social ineptitude and awkwardness of Harvey, charismatically portrayed by none other than Dustin Hoffman. The movie can be slow, depressing (in witnessing all of Harvey's troubles), and rather predictable, but the payoff is downright endearing and a joy to behold.

8.5/10 Toddsperience

• Rent - It's a musical about Bohemians in New York struggling to get by. A couple of them also have AIDS, which is also an important point to the story. It's actually not a bad movie. Some good songs and slight humor make it enjoyable, and it can even be quite compelling in certain spots. Still, it's no Enchanted. Oh, and if I'm ever on the verge of dying, don't stand around singing to me. Take me to the dang hospital.

6.9/10.3 Toddsperience

• Batman: Mask of the Phantasm - This one is obviously the movie I'd seen before, though I hadn't seen it in a long time. The DVD was cheap and in widescreen, so I snagged it and we watched it. This is based on the animated series from the mid-90's, so you know it's excellent. Actually, it's much better than most of the live-action Batman films. Up until Christopher Nolan's movies came out, many considered this film to be the best Batman film of all. Some still hold that position. Though it's obviously a cartoon for kids, it's still pretty dark. And it probably gets deeper into the emotional aspects of Bruce Wayne than any of the live action films, The Dark Knight included. Though it be cheesy at times, it still manages to be a rather deep movie.

8.4/9.9 Toddsperience

• Sense and Sensibility - This was obviously not a movie in my collection. But it is still a rather good film. It has Hans Gruber in it, after all. House also makes an appearance. No Cuddy, though. For those unfamiliar, this is adapted from a Jane Austen novel, so it's a period piece romance set in England. Grand. Actually, is you pay close attention, it's got some great wit and is a rather enjoyable film, even for dudes like The Smitch. And don't forget: Hans Gruber.

7.2/10 Toddsperience

• Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone - This is the first Harry Potter movie, for those who don't know. I tried watching this several years ago, but only got halfway through after mocking it heavily. This time I paid attention. It's all right. Not phenomenal like everyone seems to think. Maybe it's extra cool for folks that have read the book. To me, it seemed like an amalgamation of many various science fiction and fantasy series (Narnia, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars - I see Hogwarts as nothing more than a slight twist on a Jedi Academy). But, for the most part, it works and is enjoyable. They wore some stupid hats, though. Oh, and Hans Gruber is in this one as well.

6.4/10 Toddsperience

• Say Anything - John Cusack stars in this late 80's teen romantic comedy. Cusack plays a mediocre slacker who, after graduation, starts to date the school's beautiful, brainy girl. It follows the predictable romance storyline, but manages to be sweet along the way. Plus, it includes John Mahoney (the dad from Frasier!) as the girl's father. A subplot involving an IRS investigation also leads to the climax and affects the story in a big way. Overall, not a bad film. Sadly, though, Hans Gruber is not in this movie.

7/10.2 Toddsperience

Pay no attention. I'm just a crazy old vagabond.

This is gold! Gold! Conan O'Brien co-created a show in the early 1990's starring Adam West. West played a washed up actor who once had a popular TV show a couple decades ago (a jab at himself, perhaps?). Anyway, West's character thinks that, since he once played a detective on TV, he can solve crimes in real life! Sadly, it never got beyond this initial pilot episode.

The humor is sly, subtle, and absolutely brilliant. West seems to play on his own assumed persona that he's an out of touch nutbag. This is worth watching just to see West attempt to get into a race by dressing in 30's racing garb and claiming to be world famous racer "Dash Carlyle."

More Tony Jaa!

How great was Ong Bak? It was awesomely great. Ong Bak 2 looks even better. By the way, the trailer is in French, but who cares? He fights a dang crocodile!

New Monkey Island!

Brand new gameplay footage from the upcoming Tales of Monkey Island!





Ah, good old fashioned Guybrush humor. Now this is how pirate adventure/comedies are done!

In Defense of the 4th Movie - The Phantom Menace

Star Wars: Episode I: The Phantom Menace is the 4th movie in the Star Wars saga. Kind of. A New Hope from '77 is actually titled Episode IV, so I guess in a way it could be considered the 4th movie. Otherwise the first of those Ewok movie spinoffs could also be dubbed the 4th movie. Or, if you take into account the Star Wars Holiday Special which occurred between Hope and Empire, that would make Jedi movie number 4.

In any case, we're going with 1999's wonderful Phantom Menace as the 4th movie. Yes, I know it, being far from the Franchise Killer, ushered in the next two movies to make up the Prequel Trilogy. Please, don't quote the prequels. But PM is the 4th and we're going with it.

We all know the bad: the dialogue, the acting, the plot, Jar-Jar, and baby Vader (whatever happened to that kid? He made the smash holiday hit Jingle All the Way and PM and then disappeared. Maybe George Lucas forgot him in Tunisia). You can ramble and argue about the bad all night long. Good for you. That's easy. But what about the good? The good is not so easy to come by, but it's there. Oh, trust me, it's there.

First off, it's Star Wars! That alone makes it awesome. You could put a Star Wars coffee mug in the microwave and tell me to watch it for 2 hours and I would, because it's Star Wars! We've got Liam Neeson and Ewan McGregor, two capable actors as Jedi. Granted, their not given the best material. And it would have been so much cooler if Qui-Gon Jin had the temperament of Neeson's character in Taken. Wouldn't it? Wouldn't it?

We got Yoda back, and still as a practical muppet! Samuel L. Jackson is a Jedi, as well. Yes, he doesn't do anything. But still, it's Sammy J. as a Jedi! There's tons of droids getting hacked and slashed and a zooming pod race. Come on, you know it was cool the first time you saw it. Plus, it helps if you change the audio to a foreign language so you can't understand all the stupid commentary the two-headed announcers are saying.

And we've got Maul, the coolest Sith since big bad Vader himself. The duel at the end of the film between him and Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon was awesome, you have to admit. Sweet moves, John William's Duel of the Fates pulsating in the background, and Darth Maul's two-sided lightsaber make for an exhilarating action sequence. Search your feelings, you know it be true.

But perhaps the most important reason why PM is good: it introduced all us Star Wars geeks to Natalie Portman.Yeah.

So how does it compare with the rest of the series? Is it the best? Hah! No way. What a stupid question. Well then, is it the worst? Hmm, maybe. I think most would say it is, but I'm going to reserve that condemnation for Attack of the Clones, mostly because baby Vader is still a way better actor than Hayden Christensen. It's close, though.

Best in Series: No.
Worst in Series: No.





6.8/9.9 Toddsperience

Quick Note

General Zod (Superman II) is Chancellor Valorum (Phantom Menace).
How have I not realized that before???

In Defense of the 4th Movie - Alien Resurrection

The first Alien is a fantastically dark and atmospheric sci-fi horror film. Aliens is a slam-bang actioneer courtesy of James Cameron. I have no idea what the crap is going on in most of the third Alien movie, but I give Fincher a pass and place the blame on an interfering studio. For the Franchise Killer, we got Alien Resurrection.

Ripley's back, and that's about all you need to care about, story-wise. All we want is to see some nasty aliens chasing Ripley and her fellow human companions. Well, as Alien 3 proves, a mildly coherent and understandable story wouldn't hurt. On those bare requirements, Resurrection delivers.

It's not as good a movie as the first two entries in this film series, but it's obvious already that I think it's superior to the 3rd film. So in that respect, it's a success! Fincher's film should have logically killed the franchise, but they brought the face huggers back for one more round and, more or less, it worked.

So what's so good about this movie, other than Sigourney Weaver returning again? Well, it's got Winona Ryder, so that doesn't hurt. Ron Perlman is also in it, which is always fun. (Perlman is always distinctively Perlman, except for when he's Hellboy. I know it's Perlman underneath the makeup, I can sense and tell that it's obviously him, but all I see is Hellboy. Grand stuff! Man, I hope that franchise makes it to four del Toro-riffic movies!) We also get an underwater scene, and aliens swimming is far cooler than it sounds. Of course, there's the nifty and incredibly disturbing scene with all the failed Ripley clones. It's some pretty sickening stuff. Delightful.

As far as movies in general go, it's a pretty average, though solid, film. It's a good one to watch in one's leisure time. In the Alien series, I rank it third, after the first two. I would recommend not even bothering with the third film at all, except a major plot thread in this movie hinges on the climax of its predecessor.

Plus, thanks to the inclusion of this movie, we now have the wonderfully made-up word "quadrilogy." Thank you, Alien Resurrection. Thank you for quadrilogy.

Best in Series: No.
Worst in Series: No.




7.7/11.3 Toddsperience

SHM

I've created a new blog for my non-movie related ramblings. If you care, check it out over at Smitch Hates Movies.

That is all.

In Defense of the 4th Movie - Rambo

This may be a bit of a cheat because, technically, I've never seen Rambo III, so I can't really compare the 4th installment of this franchise to it's immediate predecessor. But I'm going to assume it just upped the 80's cheesiness of the 2nd movie and, with the 20 year hiatus until Rambo, it made everyone ok with leaving John Rambo alone. Potentially forever.

However, in 2008 Stallone brought the character back and, instead of being a Franchise Killer, it was a whopping Franchise Resurrection! Rambo isn't an Oscar-caliber movie, but it is a dang fun movie. As far as I'm considered, this entry is the most enjoyable film in the series (noting that I still haven't seen Rambo III).

First Blood was a serious and sober look at a special forces soldier returning from Vietnam. The second movie tossed that aside for a more over-the-top action focused war movie. I believe the third movie followed suit. Rambo follows in the pattern of the other sequels as well, but with extreme gusto! Stallone basically made an 80's action movie...in 2008! That means we get 2008 style, technology, and special effects to solidly frame the excessive, hyper-realistic gore and mayhem that John Rambo dishes out in the jungles of Burma.

So, it's a wonderful romp of action and violence. But what about the story? Who cares! It's got something to do with rescuing missionaries in Burma. But no one saw Rambo because of the plot, story, or acting. People went to see John Rambo blow stuff up and kill a lot of people. And boy, does this movie deliver! While he only killed 1 person in the first movie, Rambo kills 83 in this one. A total of 236 people are killed throughout the duration of the movie, averaging to about 2.59 people killed per minute (source).

A lot of these kills occur during the climax while our protagonist utilizes a mounted machine gun on the back of a jeep. This is surely one of cinema's finest sequences!

So how does this fare, overall? First Blood is still the superior movie, but Rambo is definitely the most fun. The other two fall somewhere in between, I'm assuming. If anyone out there has seen Rambo III, go ahead and tell me if I'm right or wrong. But I'm right.

Best in Series: No.
Worst in Series: No.

In Defense of the 4th Movie

Movie series always have their ups and downs. One or two of the entries are great while the others are either lackluster or just plain dreadful. The first movie is always the best, with the sequel paling in comparison (except for Wrath of Kahn, Empire Strikes Back, Aliens, Terminator 2, etc. Okay, so sci-fi movies seem to pump out some exceptional part dos entries). The third movie is usually, at best, a grudgingly acceptable conclusion to the trilogy.

If the studio is greedy, though, they'll push for the unwanted fourth movie, with disastrous results. These, beloved readers, are the Franchise Killers. Little thought and effort is put into them other than finding a way to make another buck off of an already established and, usually, concluded film series. If they don't outright flop, they're met with such critical lambasting and fan derision that the franchise is essentially buried with that last, lingering entry besmirching the entire series.

But The Smitch is a cinematic optimist, and he loves him some movies. So I intend to embark on a series of entries examining various 4th movies (in no particular order) and trying to find the good in them. This won't be so difficult with some movies. For others, it will be dang near impossible. But, just for fun, let's try to stand up for the Franchise Killers.

Baysplosions!

Because I'm psyched for the Transformers sequel (I know, it'll be loud and pointless noise...but oh so cool), here's Robot Chicken's wonderful ode to Michael Bay.

Space Battle! Star Trek Style.

I liked the new Star Trek movie. I would gladly watch it again. I would also gladly watch this video twenty times over without pause. I'm sure you will do the same.

Fedcon 2009 Opening Ceremony Star Trek Animation from Tobias Richter on Vimeo.

Maybe this is what they should have done with the Star Wars prequels. Lots of awesome space battle glory shots without any, um, "dialogue." Though, I suppose the world would be a much darker place without the incessant jabbering of Jar-Jar and Darth Vader shouting "NOOOOO!" like an asthmatic emo kid that's going to cry in a corner and cut his robotic wrists.

No Way!

IMDB.com is neat. You can just go link hoping for hours and come across all sorts of neat connections. Here's one I recently discovered: Lost's Dr. Chang is the Shredder!!!

François Chau, who plays Dr. Pierre Chang (the dude from all the DHARMA initiative films and the father of Miles) played the Turtles' number one nemesis in The Secret of the Ooze. That's the second Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles live action movie for the uninitiated out there.

Just look into the man's eyes. It's full of cold, menacing hate for anthropomorphized, mutated turtles and plane crash survivors from the future.

Romance

This may be the most romantic thing ever written.

Why So Serious?

From Batman 681

Never drink coffee with Bruce Wayne.

My Name is Guybrush Threepwood.

E3 is great, isn't it folks? Forget about all the fancy new technology and doo-dads. The only piece of real big, clap your hands with joy, do an Irish jig, news is nearly 20 years in the making. First off, a new Monkey Island game is coming out in episodic format, much like the recent resurrection of the Sam & Max video game. As cool as that is, it gets better. LucasArts is releasing a special edition of the original Secret of Monkey Island, with beefed up graphics and complete voiceover work.

Check out this short little documentary about the revamped game.




How sweet does that look? I especially love the fact that, at the touch of a button, you can switch to old style Monkey Island. Now that is just appealing straight to my nostalgia loving heart.

KOTOR MMO

I've never tried my hand at an MMO, what with the need for monthly subscription fees and all that, but I did love both KOTOR games. So...this might be good? In any case, this little trailer may be just about the coolest thing I've ever watched.

Why So Serious?

From Detective Comics #33

Batman has always had great confidence in his own abilities.

Rocky Balboa's Wrestling Counterpart

Randy "The Ram" Robinson was one of the most celebrated professional wrestlers of the 1980s. Now, twenty years later, The Ram is struggling desperately for the fame and glory that once was. But times have changed, and those times are tough. He maintains his wrestling presence by participating in small matches held at local school gymnasiums and fan signings at the VFW.

While The Ram dreams of a comeback that will propel him back to the heights of his fame, reality is quickly setting in. Complications from aging and a lifetime of steroid use make entering the ring more and more dangerous every time. However, life outside the ring doesn't have much to offer him. This former wrestling superstar now lives in a trailer park, works at a grocery store, and fails at every attempt to reconnect with his estranged daughter. Plus, his only real female interest is a stripper named Cassidy who treats The Ram as just another costumer.

Since the "real" world has nothing to offer, The Ram places all his hopes and dreams back in the ring. At least there, the fans (those who remember him) still love and adore him.

This movie does bare some resemblance to the washed up, underdog athlete story of the Rocky movies, particularly the excellent Rocky Balboa. However, this isn't a Rocky movie, and everything doesn't always work out just fine and peachy for The Ram. The Wrestler is moving and bittersweet. It left me wanting to cry and cheer for joy at the same time.

And maybe I'm too young, but I don't really know Mickey Rourke particularly well in anything other than Sin City. So, while I can't speak much to this being the declared resurrection of his career, I can say that he gives a mighty fine performance in this film. Rourke certainly deserves all the acclaim and fanfare he's received for this role.

Oh, and if you're scared of Darren Aronofsky movies, don't let that understandable fear dissuade you from The Wrestler. This movie is by far the most mainstream and approachable movie he's done. So just forget for a moment the weirdness of Pi, Requiem for a Dream, and The Fountain, and go watch this movie.

8.5/10 Toddsperience

And Knowing is Half the Battle!

This looks dumb. But it also looks like it has all sorts of crazy action in it, so I'm all for it!




Is it me, or does it appear that Stephen Sommers has watched a lot of Michael Bay movies since his last directorial outing (Van Helsing)? Compare the scene at 2:06 in this trailer to the final battle scene in Transformers and you'll see what I'm talking about. Or just compare it to anything in the new Transformers trailer shown in a previous post.

And how cool would it be if they actually did include those cheesy PSA's in the movie?

Free Comic Book Day

Saturday, May 2nd, was Free Comic Book Day (FCBD). On the first Saturday in May, independent comic book shops tend to have promotions and celebrations that include giving away (completely free!) several comic book titles. I picked myself a small swag of free goodies.

• Wolverine: Origin of an X-Man. This tells the tale of Logan's first mission for the Canucks immediately prior to his legendary encounter with the Hulk. I think. What do I look like? A Marvel historian?

• Blackest Night #0. A prologue to Geoff Johns' upcoming Green Lantern storyline, this issue was a well done story about pondering and reflection. Hal Jordan and Barry Allen (the formerly deceased Green Lantern and Flash) meet at Batman's grave to discuss the nature of death and a superhero's apparent knack for overcoming it. They talk about the deaths and resurrection of various heroes, including their own respective demises. Allen comments that if there is an escape from death, "you can bet Batman's already planning it."

• Savage Dragon #148. This issue is rather neat, as it's smack in the larger continuity of the title and not simply a prologue or one-shot. The first few pages actually recap the last 147 issues and leads into the current storyline. A nice tactic to help new readers understand just what is going on in this crazy book.

• G.I. Joe/G.I. Joe Origins/Transformers Animated. Three short issues in one! The Transformers part is definitely aimed at kids, but the G.I. Joe stories are top notch, with one written by Larry Hama himself!

• Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #1 Reprint. This is amazing. To celebrate the 25th anniversary of the TMNT, FCBD offered this reprint of the 1984 debut of the beloved heroes in a half-shell. It also includes new forwards written by creators Peter Laird and Kevin Eastman!

So what's with all this comic book nonsense? Well, to answer that question, let me throw down some imdb links for your surfing pleasure.

Wolverine
Green Lantern
G.I. Joe
Transformers
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Savage Dragon

The comic book industry: Hollywood's creative team.

And, yes, I realize G.I. Joe and Transformers are based on toys, but their stories were told in comic book form long before they made the jump to summer blockbuster on the big screen. Also, it's been over a decade since the Savage Dragon cartoon. But aside from that one, the rest have movies currently in the works.

Next FCBD: May 1, 2010.

Invite the Uninvited!

Surprisingly, The Uninvited is a better than average American remake of an Asian horror film. Emily Browning (Lemony Snicket) stars Anna, a teenage girl severely traumatized by her ill mother's accidental death some ten months ago. After cutting her wrists, she was institutionalized until she stabilized mentally.

Now released, Anna goes home and bonds with her sister, played by Arielle Kebbel (The Grudge 2). However, all is not well, for Anna starts seeing horrifying images of ghosts. Anna and her sister deduce that these ghosts are warning them that their mother's former nurse, and father's new girlfriend, played by Elizabeth Banks (The Ubiquitous), actually killed their mother.

There are a few shocks and scares with freightening ghosts, but not as many as you would expect. And that's ok. Instead of being straight up horror, The Uninvited delves into murder mystery territory as the young girls investigate just who their father's girlfriend is. This, coupled with the surprisingly enjoyable ending, sold me on the movie.

As far as American remakes of Asian horror films go, The Uninvited ranks somewhere near the top. Of course, that might not be saying very much, anyway.

8/11 Toddsperience

Liar Liar II

In Yes Man, Jim Carrey plays an introverted shut in that will make up any excuse so as not to be excised from his sofa, watching movies alone. An old buddy coerces him to attend a seminar where he make a covenant with himself to answer "yes" whenever the opportunity presents itself. Get it? Instead of having to tell the truth, he has to say yes! It's the same, but different!

It's not a wonderful movie, but it's by no means horrible. As a one time viewing, it's actually quite enjoyable. The predictable storyline and shenanigans ensue for your amusement. This movie does have a couple of noteworthy pluses, such as Rhys Darby (Murray from Flight of the Conchords who basically plays the same type of character), Harry Potter themed parties, and a small subplot involving the mockery of male nurses.

6.7/10.2 Toddsperience

Revenge of Freaking Huge Robots!

I have no idea what's going on in this, but I don't really care. It looks awesome. Enjoy.

Transformer "Revenge of the Fallen" trailer #3 from Bay Films/Michael Bay Dot Com on Vimeo.

Site News!

New!

Detective Comics reviews now contain images! Hooray for technology and mild ambition!

Why So Serious?

From Batman 272

Detective Comics #32

No. 32
Date: October, 1939
Title: None? The Monk Part II
Creative Team: Bob Kane

Story:
Batman is traveling in “Hungaria” chasing the Monk. He stops the Monk's carriage but only finds a woman named Dala. He takes Dala back to a hotel where Julie is staying. In the night, Dala bites Julie, attacks Batman, and runs away. Batman assumes that Dala is a vampire and pursues her. He catches her and heads for the Monk's castle in his Batplane. A huge net captures the Batplane and brings it down to the ground where the Monk is waiting.

The Monk then hypnotizes Batman and mentally calls Julie to join them. It turns out that, besides being a hypnotist, the Monk is also a werewolf! The villain turns into a wolf and howls for other wolves to gather in a pit at his castle. Batman is thrown into the pit, but hope is not lost for the hero. He uses gas pellets to stun the wolves and his batarang and lasso to climb out of the pit. As the Monk sleeps, Batman melts down a sliver statue to make two silver bullets. He then shoots the Monk and Dala to break their spell over Julie.

Notes:

• First use of the batarang with a rope.

• The Batgyro is now called the Batplane.

• Batman kills again. But, if the Monk is already part of the undead, does it count?

• Whatever the Monk is, the terms “werewolf” and “vampire” seem to be used interchangeably. I know, this will offend Twilight fans everywhere. But, apparently to Batman, vampires and werewolves are equivocal.
  

• No Batman cover to this issue.

Detective Comics #31

No. 31
Date: September, 1939
Title: None? The Monk Part I
Creative Team: Bob Kane

Story:
The debut of the villainous Monk! And no, it's not Antonio Scarpacci (Bonus points to those of you who understand the reference). This issue starts out with Batman on patrol through the city night when he saves a man from being killed by a hypnotized woman. The woman turns out to be Julie Madison, Bruce Wayne's fiancée! Batman escorts her back to her home and the next day she explains it all to Wayne. The wealthy socialite takes her to Doctor Trent, who recommends Julie relax and go on a trip to Paris.

However, Wayne suspects the good doctor was also hypnotized. Cloaked as Batman, he follows Julie's ship in his fancy aircraft known as the Batgyro. Batman briefly encounters the Monk on the ship before escaping the villain's hypnotic powers and fleeing in the Batgyro. He then heads to Paris to search for Julie.

He finally finds his fiancée, but a giant gorilla (seriously, a giant gorilla) in her room attacks him! Batman falls through a trap door, is ensnared in a net, and lowered by the Monk of a pit full of snakes. He uses his knew gadget, the batarang, to escape, and tries to chase the Monk. But the giant gorilla stops him again! Batman escapes the clutches of the gorilla and flies off in the Batgyro after the Monk's car. Catching up to the vehicle, Batman throws a gas pellet into an open window, causing the car to crash. The Monk is absent from the wreck, but Batman rescues Julie Madison and the two of them fly off.

Notes:

• First appearance of The Monk

• First appearance of Julie Madison as Bruce Wayne's Fiancee

• First Batgyro and famous batarang. Still no Bat-shark repellent.