Daybreakers

See? All those Twilight movies need is a little Willem Dafoe and they'd be awesome looking vampire movies like Daybreakers here.

German Tom Cruise Speaks Perfect American English

Bryan Singer makes good movies. Sure, Superman Returns was not awesome at all, but it sure looked beautiful. Anyway, Singer is back to form with Valkyrie. Now, I heard concerning things all throughout the production of this movie, so I was rather skeptical when I saw it. But I must say that, dang, Valkyrie is a good movie!

Sure, it has it's problems. Tom Cruise makes no attempt to speak with a German accent. And most of the other actors are British. So, while they do have an accent, it's the wrong kind. However, the cast is great and the acting is solid. It's got such talent as Bill Nighy, Tom Wilkinson, and Terence Stamp (General Freakin' Zod!!)

The story is truly riveting and compelling. Which is rather amazing, since everybody going in knows what the ending is. Hitler lives and all the conspirators are executed. Spoiler! But somehow...somehow, Singer manages to scoot our rears toward the edges of our seats as we grip that irrational hope that the plot will actually succeed.

It's rather refreshing to see a World War II movie where the Germans aren't strictly evil. The message of this movie is that there were, in fact, many, many good and decent Germans who despised Hitler and wanted him out. This is merely one of the most famous accounts of good people risking it all to stop evil. The fact that they ultimately fail makes it all the more touching.

Oh, so way the title of Valkyrie? Operation Valkyrie was the order that the conspirators set into motion after the attempted assassination to overthrow standing institutions and take control of the government. From the movie, it looks like they came awfully close to succeeding.

8.4/10 Toddsperience

4 Horsemen of the Mediocre

I had never heard of the movie Horsemen before I watched it. After viewing it, I still wish I had never heard of it. Dennis Quaid plays a widowed detective that sucks at being a single father. He gets caught up in a super freaky case about a group of killers who perpetrate their crimes after the pattern of the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse from the book of Revelation. Sort of. It kind of works.

Does this sound like Se7en? Yeah, it kinda does. Initially, it manages to maintain a similar creepy factor, even. But the second half goes downhill pretty steadily with plot twists that only work if you don't think about them too much.

Along with the increasing weak story is some weak acting and incredible leaps of logic. According to the movie you can take a random chip from a computer, match it to the computer-at-large, find that computer's ISP, and use that to get a physical address for the location of the computer. Um...no. On the off chance you could match the serial number on the generic chip to the serial number of, say, a motherboard or something that was produced and sold, that still gives you no lead on the ISP address. You'd be better off going to the billing address for whoever bought the computer. But that still raises many practical problems. I know this is probably a pretty small detail to complain this much about, but come on, at least put in some effort to make this marginally believable!

Ok. I'm done ranting. If you're bored and up for a bad thriller type movie, go on ahead and watch this. But you're much better off just watching Se7en again.

4.5/10 Toddsperience

Movie Weekend Overview

Greetings to all you SLM fans out there. Alanna dropped by this weekend and we went through a bunch of movies, all but one I'd never seen before. Instead of writing full reviews for each, I'm going to take the lazy way out and just lay down some quick comments about all of them here.

• Last Chance Harvey - This was a great movie. I think I liked it better than Alanna did. Which is odd, since usually she's the one big on romantic comedies. But this isn't your typical romantic comedy. It's not about rambunctious teens looking for their first love and wild times. It's about an old man, down on his luck, abandoned by his family and career, stumbling into one last chance at happiness. Maybe I can just relate to the social ineptitude and awkwardness of Harvey, charismatically portrayed by none other than Dustin Hoffman. The movie can be slow, depressing (in witnessing all of Harvey's troubles), and rather predictable, but the payoff is downright endearing and a joy to behold.

8.5/10 Toddsperience

• Rent - It's a musical about Bohemians in New York struggling to get by. A couple of them also have AIDS, which is also an important point to the story. It's actually not a bad movie. Some good songs and slight humor make it enjoyable, and it can even be quite compelling in certain spots. Still, it's no Enchanted. Oh, and if I'm ever on the verge of dying, don't stand around singing to me. Take me to the dang hospital.

6.9/10.3 Toddsperience

• Batman: Mask of the Phantasm - This one is obviously the movie I'd seen before, though I hadn't seen it in a long time. The DVD was cheap and in widescreen, so I snagged it and we watched it. This is based on the animated series from the mid-90's, so you know it's excellent. Actually, it's much better than most of the live-action Batman films. Up until Christopher Nolan's movies came out, many considered this film to be the best Batman film of all. Some still hold that position. Though it's obviously a cartoon for kids, it's still pretty dark. And it probably gets deeper into the emotional aspects of Bruce Wayne than any of the live action films, The Dark Knight included. Though it be cheesy at times, it still manages to be a rather deep movie.

8.4/9.9 Toddsperience

• Sense and Sensibility - This was obviously not a movie in my collection. But it is still a rather good film. It has Hans Gruber in it, after all. House also makes an appearance. No Cuddy, though. For those unfamiliar, this is adapted from a Jane Austen novel, so it's a period piece romance set in England. Grand. Actually, is you pay close attention, it's got some great wit and is a rather enjoyable film, even for dudes like The Smitch. And don't forget: Hans Gruber.

7.2/10 Toddsperience

• Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone - This is the first Harry Potter movie, for those who don't know. I tried watching this several years ago, but only got halfway through after mocking it heavily. This time I paid attention. It's all right. Not phenomenal like everyone seems to think. Maybe it's extra cool for folks that have read the book. To me, it seemed like an amalgamation of many various science fiction and fantasy series (Narnia, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars - I see Hogwarts as nothing more than a slight twist on a Jedi Academy). But, for the most part, it works and is enjoyable. They wore some stupid hats, though. Oh, and Hans Gruber is in this one as well.

6.4/10 Toddsperience

• Say Anything - John Cusack stars in this late 80's teen romantic comedy. Cusack plays a mediocre slacker who, after graduation, starts to date the school's beautiful, brainy girl. It follows the predictable romance storyline, but manages to be sweet along the way. Plus, it includes John Mahoney (the dad from Frasier!) as the girl's father. A subplot involving an IRS investigation also leads to the climax and affects the story in a big way. Overall, not a bad film. Sadly, though, Hans Gruber is not in this movie.

7/10.2 Toddsperience

Pay no attention. I'm just a crazy old vagabond.

This is gold! Gold! Conan O'Brien co-created a show in the early 1990's starring Adam West. West played a washed up actor who once had a popular TV show a couple decades ago (a jab at himself, perhaps?). Anyway, West's character thinks that, since he once played a detective on TV, he can solve crimes in real life! Sadly, it never got beyond this initial pilot episode.

The humor is sly, subtle, and absolutely brilliant. West seems to play on his own assumed persona that he's an out of touch nutbag. This is worth watching just to see West attempt to get into a race by dressing in 30's racing garb and claiming to be world famous racer "Dash Carlyle."

More Tony Jaa!

How great was Ong Bak? It was awesomely great. Ong Bak 2 looks even better. By the way, the trailer is in French, but who cares? He fights a dang crocodile!

New Monkey Island!

Brand new gameplay footage from the upcoming Tales of Monkey Island!





Ah, good old fashioned Guybrush humor. Now this is how pirate adventure/comedies are done!

In Defense of the 4th Movie - The Phantom Menace

Star Wars: Episode I: The Phantom Menace is the 4th movie in the Star Wars saga. Kind of. A New Hope from '77 is actually titled Episode IV, so I guess in a way it could be considered the 4th movie. Otherwise the first of those Ewok movie spinoffs could also be dubbed the 4th movie. Or, if you take into account the Star Wars Holiday Special which occurred between Hope and Empire, that would make Jedi movie number 4.

In any case, we're going with 1999's wonderful Phantom Menace as the 4th movie. Yes, I know it, being far from the Franchise Killer, ushered in the next two movies to make up the Prequel Trilogy. Please, don't quote the prequels. But PM is the 4th and we're going with it.

We all know the bad: the dialogue, the acting, the plot, Jar-Jar, and baby Vader (whatever happened to that kid? He made the smash holiday hit Jingle All the Way and PM and then disappeared. Maybe George Lucas forgot him in Tunisia). You can ramble and argue about the bad all night long. Good for you. That's easy. But what about the good? The good is not so easy to come by, but it's there. Oh, trust me, it's there.

First off, it's Star Wars! That alone makes it awesome. You could put a Star Wars coffee mug in the microwave and tell me to watch it for 2 hours and I would, because it's Star Wars! We've got Liam Neeson and Ewan McGregor, two capable actors as Jedi. Granted, their not given the best material. And it would have been so much cooler if Qui-Gon Jin had the temperament of Neeson's character in Taken. Wouldn't it? Wouldn't it?

We got Yoda back, and still as a practical muppet! Samuel L. Jackson is a Jedi, as well. Yes, he doesn't do anything. But still, it's Sammy J. as a Jedi! There's tons of droids getting hacked and slashed and a zooming pod race. Come on, you know it was cool the first time you saw it. Plus, it helps if you change the audio to a foreign language so you can't understand all the stupid commentary the two-headed announcers are saying.

And we've got Maul, the coolest Sith since big bad Vader himself. The duel at the end of the film between him and Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon was awesome, you have to admit. Sweet moves, John William's Duel of the Fates pulsating in the background, and Darth Maul's two-sided lightsaber make for an exhilarating action sequence. Search your feelings, you know it be true.

But perhaps the most important reason why PM is good: it introduced all us Star Wars geeks to Natalie Portman.Yeah.

So how does it compare with the rest of the series? Is it the best? Hah! No way. What a stupid question. Well then, is it the worst? Hmm, maybe. I think most would say it is, but I'm going to reserve that condemnation for Attack of the Clones, mostly because baby Vader is still a way better actor than Hayden Christensen. It's close, though.

Best in Series: No.
Worst in Series: No.





6.8/9.9 Toddsperience